Patrick Moberg

Internet Vices

A look at our digital habits. Originally posted November 20th, 2009.

tumblr is a bottle of wine

A quiet night in with a couple friends, and a couple of their friends. Spilling nostalgic stories, flipping through photo albums, singing favorite songs, aiming for poignancy, and occasionally stumbling onto it. Emotions flow freely and without thought.

twitter is cocaine

Fucking ANYONE is your friend. Yuppies do it on their iPhone. Cheap. Short. Fruitless.

youtube is shots of tequila

"Just ONE" to humor your friend quickly turns into 4 or 5. Anything and everything becomes wildly entertaining. A fun way to waste some time you won't really remember the details of. Probably for the best.

vimeo is a tab of good acid

Everyone here is pretty nice and pretty chill. You'll witness some truly beautiful things. Sometimes emotional, visits can be long or short, but you'll leave amazed, and with a better understanding of the world.

facebook is a vodka cranberry

Social lubricant used to enhance still developing social etiquette. You're aware of your uninhibited actions, but comforted by the built in safety net of excuses.

myspace is huffing spray paint

Destroys any chance of looking credible. You will be perceived as having the mindset of a middle schooler, and probably do.

digg is bong hits of weed

Sensationalist political and religious talk. Plans of overthrowing mass media fall prey to collective laziness. Obsess over some "mind blowing" HDR photography.

gmail is caffeine pills

Great for a quick pick me up to stimulate productivity, but ultimately leaves you exhausted and relying on it.